Thursday, October 15, 2015

Myths About Marriage

Myths About Marriage

1.  You can save your marriage just by learning to communicate more sensitively. 

2.  Personality problems ruin marriages.
            We all have our crazy ways.  The key is finding someone you mesh with
            problems and all.  Accommodate each other’s strange side. 

3.  Common interests keep you together.
            It all depends on how you interact while pursuing those interests.

4.  You scratch my back and…
            Happy spouses don’t keep track on who’s done what in a marriage.

5.  Avoiding conflict will ruin your marriage.
            Couples have different styles of conflict.  No style is better than the other. 
            The important point here is that the style works for both people.

6.  Affairs are the root cause of divorce.
            It’s usually the other way around.  Marriages in trouble may send one or
            both out to look for an intimate relationship. 

7.  Men are not biologically “built” for marriage.
            The frequency of affairs doesn’t depend on gender as much as opportunity.
 
8.  Men and women are from different planets.
Gender differences may contribute to marital problems, but they don’t cause them. 

The determining factor in whether wives feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is, by 70%, the quality of the couple’s friendship.  For men, the determining factor is, by 70%, the quality of the couple’s friendship.  So men and women come from the same planet after all. 

Source:  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman PH. D.


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